Last one out of Liberty City, burn it to the ground!

Where to begin? Where to end? When life becomes a circle, or an infinite figure eight, where do I start and where do I end. The story is the same, just in a different time and a different place. I like to watch movies and shows imagining that there is an infinite amount of possibilities in this universe, this reality, so I can imagine that it is real. A good way to suck myself out of this so called reality and have some enjoyment. I constantly expect to be misunderstood, that just goes along with the territory, but the part that bothers me is the lack at an attempt to understand. I usually go out of my way to understand another if I don’t think I am understanding who they are. Granted I go about it in my own way, and I suppose everyone does, but it becomes obvious over time when these things don’t happen. Ah well.

I tend to wonder if something may happen that will finally push me over the edge. Hard to imagine that something traumatic enough could occur, but I do tend to lean toward the idea of infinite possibilities, so who knows, perhaps. Not sure I want to ever go through it, but I do know my capabilities, so it would be gloriously horrible for all to endure.... I think it is a bad sign when I type that and have a most sinister laugh going off in my head.

I write to vent, and I don’t expect a response, although someday I do hope to write and have an audience, whether it is one that reads because they understand, or because they are so repulsed by it that they can do nothing but read in utter disgust... either way I would be fairly satisfied. I mean, what else am I going to do? Something productive and useful? Yeah, not likely.... which is slightly depressing- but again I always see it as not pessimism but realism. Just being realistic. Not that I’m entirely lazy, mostly just unmotivated. It’s an odd notion to believe that you could save the world, but really don’t care to as they seem to have no real interest in saving themselves.... Egotistical perhaps, just what I think, but what I think doesn’t really matter in this at all, or does it? Pretty sure this won’t be read with any serious intent anyway, so who cares?

I need a new tattoo, and I feel it is coming soon.

I want to watch it all burn. Such a negative image, but I think some good could come out of it. I just want someone to with which to watch it all burn.

Blue October- She’s My Ride Home:

We talked
Together sharpening a knife
Like killing partners for a life
Hey we can hide the bodies on the ride home

Now here we are
We're licking skin to wipe us clean
Strike a match, pour gasoline
Ditch the scene and watch this city burn
Sleep, my lap will be a pillow
Steering wheel turn

I'll be reaching for the stars with you (honey)
Who cares, no one else believes
So I, set fire to everyone around
But I told you
I told you we'd do it

So ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha
Yeah we won

We Drive
To leave the past and clear the mind
to watch the sunset set its time
I swear you'll find
I'm your ride home

Now close your eyes
its' getting dark and the highways clear
No sign of life from front to rear
Its just you my dear
On the ride home
We're going home

I'll be reaching for the stars with you (honey)
Who cares, no one else believes
So I, set fire to everyone around
But I told you
I told you we'd do it


So ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha
Yeah we won

We talked
Together sharpening a knife
Like killing partners for a life
Hey we can hide the bodies on the ride home
Cause we're going home

I'll be reaching for the stars with you (honey)
Who cares if no one else believes
So I, set fire to everyone around
But I told you
I told you we'd do it


So ha ha ha ha (we won)
ha ha ha ha (oh yeah we won)
ha ha ha ha (we won)
ha ha ha ha
Yeah we won
Yeah we won